So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
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Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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