i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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