Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
