i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
