You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
