found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize