so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Randomize
