I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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