At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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