normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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