im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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