I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
smell my finger.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
