and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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