omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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