wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
third nipple confirmed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
