some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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