awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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