Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All the doctor said was why
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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