We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
