she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
only you would photoshop your dick
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
