the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
operation harelip BJ is a go
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
