roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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