Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
