How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
