Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
