we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
