So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
