I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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