i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
zippers are such a cool invention
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
