I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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