I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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