there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want to be your penis for a week.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
True strength comes from lack of pants
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize