Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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