Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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