I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
