Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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