Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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