Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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