what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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