god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
