She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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