He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
