he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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