I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
