so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize