I wannas sexs uuuuu
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
