Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
