if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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