The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize