Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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