she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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