I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
