Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
