What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
