Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
