Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
