Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
