Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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