wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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