I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
