I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
