He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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