oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize